the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
do herpes really smell.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
