my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
