there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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