Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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