YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
