Will you blow on my dice?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize