I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
