Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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