Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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