Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
