why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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