I'm really into asian looking animals
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
This toilet bowl is my home.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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