I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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