did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
