I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
