Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
