The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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