You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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