I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
