Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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