No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize