I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I want to have your abortion
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
