Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.

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(816): View more from Missouri

believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.

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(518): View more from New York

Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo

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(914): View more from New York

She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.

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(408): View more from California

It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.

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(207): View more from Maine

if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog

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