You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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