jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
