but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
