you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
