they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
