can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
