i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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