I think I won the penis lottery.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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