He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
