was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
