You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
