I'm really into asian looking animals
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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