the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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