They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you made out with another girl for some wings
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
