Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
