I murdered the dance floor call the cops
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
