hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
