Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
