We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
