I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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