when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
