put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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