I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
