i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
