just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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