Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
