It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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