turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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