Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Couch. On fire.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
