$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
