He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
