Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
