woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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