There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
