I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
