I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
