There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
