Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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