Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
